TEN Random Things About Me:

10. I play the guitar, piano, and harmonica. XD
9. I love chocolate!!! ;p
8. I say random things... )
7. I'm an adrenaline junkie! (like Jana)
6. I love ice cream!!!
5. I skate (skateboard!!! betcha didnt know that!!! ;p)
4. I have a band. ;p secret shhh...
3. My room's walls are painted orange.
2. I like reading.
1. I like a LOT of people. ) (preferably...)

NINE Places I've Visited:

9. Baguio
8. Tagaytay
7. Ilocos Sur
6. Hong Kong
5. China
4. Nevada
3. California
2. Utah
1. New York

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die:

8. Tell them how MUCH I love them.
7. Thank them for everything.
6. Spend time with the people I love.
5. Teach and inspire.
4. Have a concert with my friends and I playing ALL the songs we want to play.
3. Write a book.
2. Get married and have children.
1. Please everyone.

SEVEN Ways to win my heart:

7. Be funny. Take things lightly but know when to be serious. Make me laugh!!!
6. Know how to play any instrument!!!
5. Read a lot!
4. Cook!!!
3. Yes, be spontaneous. Do not be plastic! (thanks Jana ;p)
2. Love me A LOT. More than I love you.
1. Respect everyone.

SIX Things I believe in:

6. Afterlife
5. Knowledge
4. Music
3. Love
2. CSDC
1. God

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:

5. Losing my sanity.
4. Not knowing anything. At all.
3. Failure.
2. Dying alone.
1. Not being loved by the people I love.

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:

4. my bed!!!
3. my computer
2. my bookshelf
1. my walls XD

THREE Things I do everyday:

3. Listen to music.
2. Eat.
1. Talk.

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:

2. trying not to fail anything
1. trying not to make myself sad

ONE Person I want to see right now:

1. right now... i think he knows... XD

My T.H.E. project!!! I am so proud of it... I made it myself!!! :D:D:D






The best! But I didn't pass the editorial exam... waaaaahhh it's okay though! :D






Who do I love?! Jason Mraz!!! (Hes only one of them, though. Wahahaha) :D:D:D








You don't know how happy I am right now!!! Even though I wasnt... wahaha anyway... have fun guys!!! :D:D:D

Still feel kinda sad though, but anyway... yeah!!! :D:D:D

i am so tired. tired of everything around. the people, the places, the same old voices, the same food, it seems that everything happening is so routinary. it really sucks.

been feeling a lot of things lately. they've all been bottled up. but now i feel really sick. there is so much to do and i havent even started yet. i am deprived of computer usage. grounded forever for the sucky grades i got in the suckiest subjects. (such a dork: "sucky" usage >) thats not the worst of it. if i get any grade lower than "SATISFACTORY" in any of the subjects i got low marks for, i will be asked to discontinue from the program which I SOOOOO LOVE. but, too bad for me, i did get a mark lower than "SATISFACTORY". And i feel that the worst of the worst is to come. Maybe tomorrow. Don't bother when you see me bawl. i'll be releasing the toxins. but for now its time to do what i have to. face the world with my chin held up high.

its time to put that face on again. its like i cant live how i want to anymore. grounded for something i didnt purposely do. what injustice is this?! but then again, there are other things far worse than my situation. i just dont feel too good. i feel REAAAALLLLYYYY bad. so bad so bad so bad.

this is my only consolation...







i wish i were someplace else...

God help me please.

what makes my life difficult.

WANTING. wanting wanting wanting. expecting things to happen when no one really cares about the outcome. what the hell is that?! why would no one care?! i guess people are just ignorant. fools that dare not tread the dreaded path of risk. should i stay? do i go? do i do this and that and this and that and this? what will happen? well, guess what the better question is. what happens now?

ask that and you'll be spared of shame and guilt. ask that and you'll see tomorrow. thank me later.

hey! so you finally came around. guess you couldn't take it any longer. i can't anymore. that's what sucks. so i have to confess something to you...

you suck. i like you and you suck like hell sucks good. you suck like money corrupts supposedly useful and honest-to-God human beings. you suck like vampires suck necks dry. you suck period. you know why? coz' i like you. a LOT. and that's what makes you suck. I CAN'T HAVE YOU. that sucks too. so i'll be bawling in a corner now... thinking... thinking... pondering... wanting and waiting...

time will whisper what it wants for me soon... what it wants for you. all i need is PATIENCE... but i still HATE you. I HATE YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER. so give me a reason not to kick you in the ass right now. give me a reason not to stop thinking and thinking and thinking every single minute of every single day. give me a good reason not to stop living. please coz' i need it right now. I CAN'T WIN THIS. make me win this...

how do i deal with this? lusting after something i can't have. this sucks like hell. this sucks a lot. i wonder how i can resolve this...

i hope that someone out there feels the same way. i know it would be so easy to grab that something and corner it for all to see how much i want it, but i can't do that. it would definitely ruin my reputation. it would definitely. so many urges. so many temptations. i'm so thankful i can control them. i am so thankful that i am not that stupid to do it in public.

i hate that it's coming back. i hate it. can someone help me with this? i don't want this anymore because it affects my already bothered mind. it makes me even more out of line. help me someone. i don't want this anymore. i like the feeling but it just sucks knowing you can't do anything about it to make you feel even better. i know i can but it would just be too stupid to do what i want to do. i hope you know what i mean. i know some people out there do. please help me now!!! i don't want this anymore. this isn't normal. after that day it all came back. all the memories and experiences came back and now i can't erase them. i can't. someone help me. i like this but it just feels sad to know that i can't have what i want. i need it and i want it but i can't have it even if i can. it would just be too weird. i would be turning my back against morality if i'd do what i really want to do. i'm holding myself back.

help me. i like this but it can't happen again. let me dwell in the present and not think back to experiences. let me stay here and think and think and think. let me be normal again. let this be the last thing to ever happen like this again. please.

---

so my computer is finally okay. i can install the RO cd of georgia. trisha, please don't kill me on monday! you know what i mean in my entry naman diba? just sucks that i can't have IT. it really sucks, big time. oh well...

gotta move on with my life. what a way to start the new year. *sigh*

head really hurts. having a hang-over sucks. wahahaha... okay. so i went out with my Malabon friends. really sucks. really sucks i hate this my head hurts. wahahaha... not the first time though. but it still hurts.

got a new computer. actually a new CPU. yes my computer's faster now, thank you dad, thank you mom!

so the KINGS won! yeah hobie we win the bet!!! wahaha who said the SPURS would win?! our family did! but who won!? huh hobie? who?! WE DID!!! wahahaha yes go KINGS!!!

who's winning? John Cena?! YEAHHHH!!!! RUCK FULES!!!! thanks JOHN!!! wahahaha

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!